If you’ve ever found yourself wandering drunk through the streets of downtown Detroit or Royal Oak and you gotta hit the head or drop a quick one (or maybe throw up if you’re hammered) you can now do it at new 24-hour public use restrooms called “Thrones.”
That’s right – my dad used to always tuck his newspaper under his arm and say “welp, off to the porcelain throne I go” and we’d see him about 20 minutes later with a completed crossword puzzle and a sense of pride in his step. Could be because he was walking a bit lighter though.
Anyways, the new public crappers will have running water, a sink
and a baby changing station. They are being operated by a Washington D.C. business called Throne Labs, and lets be honest we know Washington D.C.’s full of shit as it is so they’re perfectly suited to handle this new venture.
Two of the Thrones will be available in Cadillac Square in downtown Detroit, while others are currently in use in Royal Oak at the Farmers Market, Centennial Commons and Lawson Park.
The thrones are solar operated, and require use of a cell phone to enter. Visitors can scan the QR code or text “Throne” to the number posted on the unit. Or they can download the Throne app.
Once the doors are locked, the visitor has ten minutes to take care of business before the doors unlock again. Inside visitors can enjoy the toilet, running-water sink, paper towels, and ventilation system. The facilities are wheelchair accessible as well as climate-controlled.
Please, whatever you do – don’t tag the page in your pictures of the Throne. That would be terrible.